We recently wrapped up an exceptionally rewarding first year working with a global auto parts supplier based in Glen Arbor Michigan. After a rough start where they showed flat sales during the first quarter, we are proud to report FEAR has helped Rosenthal auto parts deliver three consecutive quarters where they missed both top-line and bottom-line numbers – and thrilled that their most recent quarter delivered record losses. Our team on the ground gives the credit of this success to what in psychology they refer to as the “familiar misery”
At the core of every engagement is our FEAR Organizational Design Team. In this case when they began sketching out the business plan to foster misery, the first thing they established was an infrastructure for misery to flourish. The key ingredient was an abundance of the pleasure eliciting chemical called dopamine that gets produced in the brain during a fearful experience. After a few surprising layoffs and a delayed raise cycle, the employees were sipping on fear’s sweet nectar, and quickly found themselves seeking fear as a form of pleasure. Soon, the company’s leadership noticed that unhappiness was taking root as their team started finding great joy in one upping each other’s grief-filled war stories. A FEAR representative proudly reported overhearing a staff gripe session in the break room. The members listened intently to each other’s horror stories, wanting the next tale to be worse than the one that came before. Then ended the session saying, “Well, let’s get back to the suck.”
Over the eventful year with Rosenthal auto parts, leadership blissfully watch as their employees dedicated more and more of their mental energy to how crushingly gloomy their conditions had become rather than coming up with ways of improving their situation. They were stuck in a limbo of fear where dread had become mixed with acceptance, willingly becoming the corporate version of the walking dead. Void of ambition and drive but still going through the paces. They felt fear, asked for more and were never satisfied with the amount they receive. We are proud to report that we has been retained for another year by Rosenthal auto parts after the board of directors credited FEAR with helping them slip from number 3 to number 6 in their sector. But we know our job is not done until we help this failing company achieve its ultimate goal of complete failure.
If you would like to learn more about how you can get your employees fall in love with fear, please reach out to our chief reduction officer at email@example.com
(Names of companies and employees have been redacted due to legal article 420-28a and article 129-11b)