Last updated on January 18, 2023
A service FEAR Incorporated has become well-known for is something we call our FEAR Squad™. While their first responsibility is to establish a vibrant fear-based culture within the walls of your company, their most useful role has become staying on location for the length of your engagement with FEAR. We began this practice in the summer of 1973 while shepherding the highly acclaimed United New Jersey & Canal Company to a spectacular bankruptcy. Eight months into the engagement, while we were seeding a “fear of the future” with a middle manager named Taras Wayner who was in charge of external riveting, the FEAR Squad noticed a phenomenon that needed immediate addressing. Fear was being confused with danger.
Ironically, a common response to fear – that was creating real danger – was anger. Our in-house Psychologist deduced that a chemical reaction from fear was causing Taras Wayner‘s blood to flow away from his heart and flood his limbs causing him to potentially do two things. Start throwing things like ball-peen hammers, socket wrenches, even rivet guns at other employees or suddenly run away from the work sight . This is what the doctor referred to as the “The fight or flight response”. After a quick huddle a member of the FEAR Squad recommended a game changing solution to management: defuse the desire to fight by stimulating the craving for flight. The brilliance of the strategy is, while an occasional fight between subpar management is delightful to watch it will tangle you in an O.J. size web of legal red tape. But, when you pledge your energy to encouraging an individual to literally and figuratively run away and hide from their problems, you have encouraged fear to sink its talons deep into your employee’s psyche making the odds of their failure soar.
After the adjustment, the road to failure for United New Jersey & Canal was back on schedule. Since this occurrence, we have made sure a dedicated team always stays on sight during all business hours in an effort to tamp down your employee’s desire to fight and encourage flight.
If you would like to learn more about how a FEAR Squad can help guarantee no one will confuse fear and danger in your office, please reach out to our chief fear officer at email@example.com for more information.
(Names of companies and employees have been redacted due to legal article 420-28a and article 129-11b)